


I Just Wanted You to Know

by thnksfrthklljs (nothingisreal)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, M/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 20:41:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6581377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingisreal/pseuds/thnksfrthklljs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Gerard was begging, but he himself didn’t know what for. The need to get back at Frank, to hurt him, was gone. It disappeared somewhere along the way between shouting matches, backstage weddings, and angry lyrics."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Just Wanted You to Know

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language. No beta.  
> Basically this is what happens when I'm allowed to listen to Conventional Weapons one time too many while in the 'emo mode'.

“Frank,” Gerard gasped, voice laced with despair. “Frankie.”  
Their faces were wet but neither was able to tell whose tears those were.  
Gerard was begging, but he himself didn’t know what for. The need to get back at Frank, to hurt him, was gone. It disappeared somewhere along the way between shouting matches, backstage weddings, and angry lyrics.  
All that remained now was pain and guilt.  
Pain, because he hadn’t realized how much he would hurt not only one of the most important people in his life, but also himself.  
Guilt, because he knew now that it was all his fault. It was him, who pushed Frank away first. Him, who was afraid.  
They could have had everything they ever wished for. They could have been happy. Maybe for the first time in Gerard’s life, he could have found out what real happiness meant first-hand.  
They didn’t bother turning the lights on. With the curtains drawn tightly, they couldn’t see a thing, but somehow it was easier. If they didn’t look, they could pretend it never happened. That they just dreamt it.  
It wasn’t ideal. Far from it. But it felt wonderful and unbearable at the same time. Made Gerard wonder if he was losing his mind.  
Gerard was uncomfortably aware of every sound, every movement, every touch. He was falling apart. From the second he came through the door, to the moment Frank yanked at his shoulders roughly and Gerard realized he had been talking.  
“Gee? Gee, come on,” Frank kissed him gently, their lips closed, and Gerard _melted_. “You’re alright,” Frank was whispering against his wet cheek. “I’ve got you. You’re gonna be fine.”  
Gerard squeezed his eyes shut against the darkness, tried to breathe evenly. Tried to _breathe_.  
He remembered that the sheets were rough against his skin, a stark contrast to Frank’s tender caresses.  
He remembered the way Frank licked him open, slipping two fingers alongside his tongue, making Gerard squirm.  
He remembered the contradictions in Frank’s actions. His kisses sweet and loving, as he _slammed_ into Gerard, only giving him a second before he started moving.  
He remembered clawing at Frank’s back, imagining the angry red marks that would remain there for the days to come, until they too faded.  
It seemed that Frank put all his anger and disappointment into his thrusts. And it hurt. Gerard knew he’d be feeling it for a long time. That every time he moved, the burn would remind him of broken promises and failed dreams.  
And he wanted it all. The pain made him alive. Made him whole again.  
It was over way too soon, Gerard coming all over himself, his cock untouched, Frank’s name on his lips, and fresh tears on his cheeks.  
If he closed his eyes, he could still feel Frank’s cum leaking out of him, running down his thighs.  
“I love you,” he whispered into the darkness, thinking how in another universe it would actually mean something.  
“It doesn’t change anything,” Frank whispered back, somewhere on Gerard’s left.  
Gerard bit his lip, feeling his throat close up. He curled up on his side, half of his face hidden in the pillow. He was shaking with the sobs, clutching the sheets tightly.  
Frank wrapped an arm around him, warm palm pressed against his chest, where his heart was beating wildly.  
And as stupid and cheesy as it might sound, it was enough. Gerard was able to fall asleep with the warm weight of Frank’s arm draped over his body, and reassuring breath on the back of his neck.  
He woke up to an empty bed and a new message on his phone.  
**I just wanted you to know:**  
**I love you too <3**

 


End file.
